Hair cuts and visiting orders

Barry has finally had a haircut! Hurray! For those of you who know Barry, you'd know this is a big deal, as hot weather and long hair is not a combination Barry enjoys, at all. When he was at Pentonville, a mate of his made sure he'd be the first one done, (meaning with freshly sterilised clippers) to avoid Barry picking up anything his depleted immune system would not let him fight off. Here at Littlehey, they didn't seem to see the sense of that and Barry has had to wait until such time as he had his Hep. B jabs.

Meanwhile, I have had to rearrange a visit to him that I had organised for myself and two of his ex-colleagues for August. I had committed the cardinal sin of using a yellow bit of paper instead of a white one to book a visit on a Sunday. For those of you new to this, visiting orders at Littlehey come in two versions: White and Yellow. If you are good, you get an extra visit, that can be booked with a yellow visiting order, marked 'privilege visiting order'. The privilege, you understand, is extended to a prisoner, who can take time off during his working week (in prison) to receive visitors. But I ask you: How many visitors can take time off their working week on a regular basis to honour such 'privileges'. My boss is brilliant and has been very accommodating, but I wager there are those among us for whom it is simply not an option.

And how are we meant to organise this? Barry has to send these out (three per month at the moment) with the visitors' details already filled in! Even at Pentonville the visiting orders were sent out blank, and we could sort ourselves out on the outside and tell him on the inside. And how is he to know whether someone will be able to take time off work or when? At this stage, the dates still have to be booked. Admittedly, so far I have been given the dates I asked for, but I'm told that this could be very different around busy times, such as Christmas. I'm told from all sides that this is our problem, meaning basically that Barry and I are having to waste valuable phone time discussing admin, instead of really talking. And if you thought your phone company was ripping you off, try HMPS! Privilege my ...

My tip for the day: Should you find yourself being interviewed by the police, and your brief advises you to make a 'no comment' statement, tell him he's an incompetent idiot. It may harm you defense ... annihilate more like!